The Debt You’ll Have to Pay

I’m sitting on the edge of a choice tonight / Knowing damn well I won’t get it... correct / I’m tracing the edge of a ghost of a plan / But I’m already shaking the hand of regret / I’ll let the wrong person hold onto my heart / Just to feel something warm while the winter is cold / I’m sorry for tearing our progress apart / Before we even get the chance to grow old / It’s a slow-motion crash in a high-speed lane / I’m choosing the ache, I’m choosing the rain / Dear future me, I’m breaking the promise / I’m losing the keys and I’m being dishonest / I’ll leave you the pieces, I’ll leave you the wreckage / I’m sending this warning, a desperate message / I know you’ll be tired of the girl that I was / Doing it all just because... just because / I’ll say the words that I know I should keep / Under my tongue while the city is sleeping / I’ll trade a year for a second of gold / While you’re the one left with the secrets I’ve sold / I’ll skip the gym and I’ll ruin the car / I’ll push the people who love us too far / I’m writing the apology note in my head / For all of the things that I should’ve just said / One day you’ll wake up and wonder why / I couldn’t just look at the truth in the eye / But I’m only twenty and I’m only human / And I’m making the mess that you’ll have to be through in! / I hope you forgive me for being so blind / I’m leaving the worst of the wreckage behind